“You idiot,” Steve murmured quietly. The medic had informed him of Tony’s state and their failed attempts to bring him back to consciousness leaving Steve fearing the last thing Tony heard was Steve yelling at him. That wasn’t what he wanted. He pressed down slightly, watching the steady heartbeat yet the somewhat deathly pale look across Tony’s face.
“Please wake up, I’m sorry I yelled at you, just… wake up and yell at me again okay? I can take it, I swear I can. It’s not the first time I’ve had someone I love yelling at me.” Steve huffed out a gentle laugh and reached, daringly, to take Tony’s hand and wind their fingers together. “You wanted to know why I ran? I ran because I was scared. So scared that it would be like last time. And I know you’re different, there’s a lot I haven’t told you, haven’t told anyone actually… it’s not something you throw into polite conversation. Who would believe that Captain America couldn’t walk away from an unhealthy relationship right? Always wanting to see the best in people I guess. Even when they push you down, belittle you, rape you, leave you… leave you scared.”
Steve cleared his throat quietly. “Anyway, doesn’t really matter now I know. It’s too late huh. You don’t deserve a wreck. The last person I trusted after that tricked me and I lost… I lost–… I lost a kid. Not the kind of thing you can bring up to someone. You think I’m closed off, I can’t help it… just…” Steve shook his head and wiped away the tears that had crept up. “Just… wake up and yell at me again. Please.”
Tony was still. The thing about an overdose is that it
doesn’t exactly kill you if you do it carefully, it just makes
you ill and shuts your brain off for a little while. It allows
you to float around in the darkest places of your mind
without the shadows lurking up and grabbing you back down.
Morphine didn’t last forever either. It’s effects would wear off
after a while, Tony may not have had a medical PHD but he
did know the basics of biochem. It did exhaust him and knock
him out good.
He could hear a mumble, a voice next to him. It didn’t take long
for him to realise that it was Steve’s, that he was talking to him,
that he was confessing something to him. All he could hear was
a muffle at first but slowly but surely the words began to ring clear.
Still his eyelids weigh down. Though his fingers twitched, ever so slightly.
He didn’t want to yell, he didn’t want to keep hurting people he cared about.